Yeah, But Who Has a Talking Doll Made of His Likeness?

December 2nd, 2005 by Hennessy

There’s a growing rift between David Cross and Larry the Cable Guy. The pinching and eye poking began in a Rolling Stone piece and continues in Git-R-Done, the new 288pg transcript, I mean book, that every fucking comic seems to release once they get a large enough mainstream audience. For those indecisive buyers still straddling the fence here’s a bit from the book jacket:

Git-R-Done is chock-full of fart jokes and straight talk about America. I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do.

Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.

My own beef with Mr. Git-R-Done stems from the fact that he only makes my job harder. There’re already more than enough people who think cable guys are drooling mongoloids. But, it’s the number of customers who’ve seen my bug-eyed response to their request to put a cable outlet in an upstairs balcony of their vaulted ceiling home that slap me on the back and say “I don’t care what it costs. Just ‘Git-R-Done’, right? ”

But this isn’t about me.

The open letter David Cross composed speaks for anybody who’s had to sit through a Blue Collar Comedy night and just resided themselves to silence.

Okay, here’s what I said in the RS interview: “He’s good at what he does. It’s a lot of anti-gay, racist humor—which people like in America – all couched in ‘I’m telling it like it is.’ He’s in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I’m-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That’s where we are as a nation now. We’re in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride.”

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