Time Warner Looks to Amass More Souls, With Wireless Service

April 3rd, 2006 by Hennessy

It appears my employers are looking to expand the ways in which they can introduce you to the pains and inconviences of their customer service fuck-ups.
Bob Parsons, Time Warner CEO, footsolider of Satan, explains his plans for further media domination, “The ultimate table has to be constructed with four legs, not three. The fourth leg will be wireless – how one solves the equation I don’t know.”

Time Warner Cable division would focus on finding ways to add wireless telephony to its “triple-play” of video, telephony and internet services once the $18bn acquisition of cable operator Adelphia had been completed. Naturally, instead of satisfying customers with say, quality products, improved service, or even more affordable prices Time Warner will try to juggle another ball.