If It Wasn’t This… It’d Be Something Else

By Sunday night, if not sooner, any Hollywood executives who might’ve been in the Frank Miller Business will be quickly back pedaling after The Spirit hits theaters Christmas Day.
The adaptation of Will Eisner’s classic comic raised fan’s suspicions when early scenes were screened this summer at the San Diego Comic Con and they looked fucking terrible. As much as I’ve grown up admiring Miller’s work, this looks like a painful movie to sit through let alone pay to see.

Variety: “Frank Miller’s solo writing-directing debut plunges into a watery grave early on and spends roughly the next 100 minutes gasping for air. Pushing well past the point of self-parody” … “There’s a lot going on here, but none of it sticks — not the shopworn plotting nor the arch, stilted dialogue. The actors often seem to be delivering their lines in ironic quote marks, suggesting a straight-faced sendup of noir and comicbook conventions that, whatever the intended effect, falls mostly flat.”

AICN: “I’ve seen something that has taken the top prize from “Battlefield Earth.” … “Okay, Mr. Miller. Let’s get it on.” … “Seriously, it’s not. You clearly don’t have any idea what you’re doing. Someone, ANYONE, over at Lionsgate should have known this. Fuck, it’s their JOB to know this. But they didn’t.” … “Folks, this movie is that bad. I heartily recommend it if you have a strong stomach and an even stronger sense of Bad-Movie-Love. Otherwise, steer clear.”

Miller’s first foray into Hollywood came in the early 90s with his work scripting the two Robocop sequels. Unsatisfied with the experience, Miller rejected opportunities to bring his work to the big screen until Robert Rodriguez offered him the opportunity to have equal creative input. Transitioning Sin City from page to screen did accomplish bringing the specifics of Miller’s noir soaked world to life. After seeing panel after panel faithfully rendered on screen, the overwrought characters and stilted dialogue made made it hard to over look the flaws in Miller’s work. His participation in Sin City was a gesture of respect, yet it yielded the opportunity for Miller to have sole ownership of the director’s chair. Creating comics, while similar in some capacities, is not the same as directing a movie. Each requires different skills, and while it will be interesting to see what becomes of Miller’s directing career—comics has always been a better fit for Miller’s sensibilities.

Craig Ferguson’s show has never grown on me, it’s hard to follow Letterman and compete with Conan. At any rate, Ferguson’s producers wisely brought on Dennis Lehane to promote his new novel The Given Day. It might’ve been great if Ferguson had maybe read a little bit of the novel or really any of Lehane’s novels. Guess some publicity is better though, than no publicity.

It’s that time of the year again, Hollywood executives have been clearing out their desks and have been reminded of all the great scripts they passed on to Greenlight Mamma Mia or some variation of Fools Gold.

Keep in mind this is a Best Liked—not Best OfList, which reading all of the log lines might prove.
Bare in mind, the top three entries of the 2005 list where Things We Lost in the Fire, Juno, and Lars and the Real Girl, so if quality of those movies mean anything to you, read on with guarded enthusiasm.

The Beaver by Kyle Killen
A depressed man finds hope in a beaver puppet that he wears on his hand.
Status: Steve Carell is attached to star.

The Oranges by Jay Reiss and Ian Helfer
“A man has a romantic relationship with the daughter of a family friend, which turns
their lives upside down.”
Status: Anthony Bregman (Thumbsucker) and Media Rights Capital will produce.

Butter by Jason Micallef
“A small town becomes a center for controversy and jealousy as its annual butter carving contest begins.”
Status: Jennifer Garner is in talks to play Laura, Michael De Luca Productions producing.

Big Hole by Michael Gilio
“An old cowboy goes on a mission to recover his money after a million dollar sweepstakes scam cleans out his entire bank account.”
Status: Aversano Films (Failure to Launch) is producing.

The Low Dweller by Brad Ingelsby
“A man trying to assimilate into society after being released from jail discovers that someone from his past is out to settle a score.”
It’s Like: Unforgiven, only less geriatric. And much less forgiving.
Status: Relativity, Energy Entertainment, Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way and Tony and Ridley Scott’s Scott Free Productions will co-produce.

F*buddies by Liz Meriwether
“A guy and a girl struggle to have an to realize they want much more.”
Status: Montecito Picture Company producing.

Winter’s Discontent by Paul Fruchbom
“When Herb Winter’s wife of fifty years dies, the faithful but sexually frustrated widower moves into a retirement community to start living the swinging single life.”
Status: Sony’s Atlas Entertainment producing.

Broken City by Brian Tucker
“A New York private investigator gets sucked into a shady mayoral election.”

I’m With Cancer by Will Reiser
“A autobiographical comic account of one man’s struggle to beat cancer.”
Status: Seth Rogen is producing and signed on to co-star.

Our Brand Is Crisis by Peter Straughan
“Based on the eponymous documentary. James Carville and a team of U.S. political consultants travel to South Abecome President of Bolivia.”
Status: Warner Bros and George Clooney’s Company producing.

The Turnaround by George P. Pelecanos

rating: 3 of 5 stars
Pelecanos’ latest focuses on the repercussions a vicious assault and murder has on all of it’s participants many years later. The plotting is proficient and unsurprising, but it takes a backseat to the characters who propel the book forward.

Creating well rounded, sympathetic characters and capturing the rhythms of their speech are strengths that serve Pelecanos much more, than his exposition heavy prose. Time after time Pelecanos uses flat description instead of showing some of the richness of the characters.

“Cody called all Hispanics “Mexicans” considered them adversaries and thieves of American jobs. Cody wore his hair very short and only got it cut at black barbershops. Cody said “forf” for “fourth” and “bruva” for “brother” but to Deon it didn’t seem like he was trying to hard, like all the other white boys. It was who he was.”

With all of the skill Pelecanos puts into his scenes with dialogue, the above example among many, would seem like a great place to show us these two knuckleheads, and play to the reader’s senses instead of just another static description.

Pelecanos knows how to construct characters compelling enough that the end comes quick, even though the plot points can be seen coming a mile away.

View all my reviews.

Next weekend, November 6th-8th, Muskego Library will host an awesome literary event. Over thirty crime and fiction writers will be in town.

First on Thursday night Sean Chercover, author of a highly praised Chicago PI series and Kat Richardson, author of the crossover Greywalker series will be at Mystery One to sign and discuss their new books. Blake Crouch, author of an original serial killer series, may join them.

On Friday night there is a wine and cheese party at the Muskego Library from 6.30 until 8.30. All the authors will be there on Friday.

On Saturday the programs are in full swing. From 9am until 7pm the authors will be involved in panels and discussions.

Dennis Lehane is the Guest of Honor, but also in attendance are, S.J. Rozan, Michael Koryta, Mario Acevedo, Lori Armstrong, Michael Black, David Case, Sean Chercover, Judy Clemens, Reed Farrel Coleman, Mark Combes, Blake Crouch, Michael Dymmoch, Jack Fredrickson, Victor Gischler, Chris Grabenstein, Harry Hunsicker, Libby Fischer Hellman, J.A. Konrath, Tim Maleeny, B.Clay Moore, Cornelia Reed, J.D. Rhoades, Kat Richardson, Marcus Sakey, Tom Schreck, Neil Anthony Smith, Charles and Caroline Todd and Simon Wood.

Fanboys finally put a stop to the further ruin of the Star Wars franchise. 

If only they could have gotten to him before Indy 4 happened.

Wisconsin residents are still obsessing with the minutia of everything Brett Favre related. I gave up regularly listening to sports radio two years ago, just to avoid hearing the never ending discussion of when Favre would retire.

These jackasses have been leading rallies to get Favre reinstated, which considering there’s an election looming and a war going still raging only make this fiasco even more ridiculous. 

Now, people are even resorting to limericks.

My favorite: 

“There once was a QB with class,

Who thought the team should kiss his ass

He said “Just release me!”

“You should do this to please me”

Nah, I’ll just go back home and cut grass.”